Nothing without nothingness

Passing a day without you

Is no more than walking

Into a garden without flowers

A tree without leaves

A destination without roads

A painting without colors

A book without words

A mirror without images

A country without language

A forest without trees

A desert without sand

It’s like me –

Homesick without home.

P.S.: For someone who is thousand miles away, yet not so far from me...

From December to January

I lose the track of time

I don’t remember dates now

Day passes by like a stranger

Months fly away like autumn leaves

On the cold island of December

I am waiting on the ebbing shore

For you

To bring me my January

Along with the year too.

"You"

In the long winter nights

Of loneliness

"You"

Are the only candle

I warmly dream by

Half-widow

Come back my beloved, come back!

Oh my beloved

I am full of love for you

Why do they call me your half widow?

Our pillows are full

Of your smell and my lonesome tears

My nights are full

Of your warm memories

My body is full

Of craving for your touch and sight

The tree in our lawn

Is full with fruits

On that cold snowy streets

The cat that you saved

And put inside my warm phirin

Has learned to purr now

Your gifted roses

Have spent their full fragrance

Your love-scribbled letters

Have soaked enough

Of my sobbing nights

The rose on the cup you drank from

Hasn't been watered so long

By your lovely lips

The mirror has grown old

With my face full of wrinkles

The sticks of your kangri are coming out

As if they too are seeking you like me

The clock in our room has stopped ticking

It gave in one evening

When my tears were ticking faster than its hands

Your phirin is worn out and cold

Every night when I wear it thinking of you

Come back and sew it yourself

My eyes are losing sight

I keep losing marbles you collected

For our unborn child

I plead you in the name of my unborn child

Come back and find those marbles once more

The eyes in our mohalla are no longer friendly

Come back and make them friendly again

Doctors keep asking me,

“What is your problem?”

Come back and answer them yourself

Your mother gets angry

When she doesn’t find any signs of pain

On my face

Come back so I could show my heart on my face

Come back to take care of my widowed half

My memories are bleeding in my head

My memories are bleeding in my head

Who will find me cure?

Wise, like an alchemist,

I pour Kashmir in my cup

And drink it like a medicine

I will heal in time

But then again

I think of freedom

Thus, my memories bleed in my head

Doctors have given up on me

Who will find me cure?

Foolish, like a lover,

I pour myself into your cup

And be drank like a dew

By the morning sun

But then again

You think of freedom

And my memories bleed in your head.

Letter of a half-widow to her other half

They say you have disappeared

And winter has set in my life

But I have preserved springs in my bed

The flowers on our pillows are still young

I water them with my tears

Every night

I play with the butterflies on my bedsheet

All naked and vulnerable for you

I even blush with shame

As you set your eyes on me

And write holy verses of our love

On my deserted plain body

With the tip of your tongue

I keep reading those holy verses

Over and over again

Till I fall sleep

In the mosque of your arms

POSTMORTEM REPORT OF A KASHMIRI YOUTH

“He has bruise marks all over his head

Indicating that he was thinking about freedom

At the time of his death.”

Remember me in your dreams

If you have to remember me tonight

Remember me in your dreams

Make yourself warm

In the cold December

Don’t bother about the time

I will be there

Waiting for you

At the first horizon of your first dream

Remember me

And then when you find me

Standing in cold

Rubbing my hands

To make them warm for your hands

Hold my hands as hard as you can

And never let go

Walk with me to the end of the rainbow

And I will find you a home

Full of love

Be there and remember me, forever

I will live there always

Waiting for you to dream again

But remember one thing more

Each day

Before you fall asleep

Put me in your thoughts

Like you always do

With a sweet smile on your face