When I
grew up
And I
grew bigger than my mother’s lap
And too
big for my father’s shoulders
In my
lonely pursuits
I was
adopted by an old Chinar tree
It took
me in
Like its
own child
I was
raised by its long branches
Longer
than my wishes
Fed by
its countless leaves
More than
the stars I could count
At night,
under its elderly shade
Sometimes
when I was sad
I would
be there
And it will be a beautiful woman
All
dressed up in autumn gold
Dancing
like a stubborn child
Stripping
all her clothes
One after
another
Day after
day
At times
when I was cold
It will
be dressed like an Eskimo
In his
long furry snowy coat
And I
will warm it with my naked palms
My secret dreams were no more
A secret
When its big leafy hand
Assured me with love and faith
I still
remember the day
How it
shivered with pain
When I
meant to leave
In my
search of dreams
I wove on
its kind branches
And then
when I grew older
Away from
its vigil motherly gaze
Some
dreams lost their meaning
Some matter
more
Every now
and then
I kept
missing its wise company
But today
I am shivering with deeper pain
Grave news
reached me from home
My friend
Chinar is no more
It
strangled itself with loneliness
And left
me in a note
On a
piece of its bark
“I am
here, forever”
I keep
reading it again and again
With
tears falling like winter dewdrops
As if to
reaffirm my belief in its last note
Beyond
the reality of the sad truth
Its
unmarked grave is marked
With few
fading circles now
Like the
orbiting planets
Of our
universe
Marking
each year we lived together
A ring of
my faith
Is cast every
morning now
When I
circle it over and over again
To find my
last raiment
Of hope
I wait in
circles
For it to
take me in again
Once more
Once more
Forever
