Sunday, 3 June 2018

Nikah


"Tumhe muhabbat hai mujhse”
Kya matlab hai iska?

Tumhe mere dard ke sunsaan khandar nahi dikhte?
Tumhe mere baalon mai khichi hui
Waqt ki safeed Laxman rekhaein nahi dikhti?
Tumhe mere chahre ki jhurriyon mai
Meri umr ki thakaan nazar nahi aati?
Tumhe mere lafzon se
Na-umeedi ki kadwahat sunai nahi deti?
Tumhe ye nahi dikhta
Ki kiss qadar toot chuka hun
Tumhare sawaalon ke jawaab dete dete
Kya matlab hai iska
Ki tumhe mujhse muhabbat hai?

“Mujhe qabool hai”

Tuesday, 8 May 2018

Soul on Sale


My words were my trust I put in you
They were pieces of my soul
I decided to share with you

Those evenings
Those sunsets
Those shared starry nights
Those intimate long walks
Those mundane serious talks
Those secretly shed tears
Everything…
Every moment had my soul in it

All this time
You were drilling deeper enough
To extract enough of my soul
And sell me to the highest bidder?

Did you get what you wanted?
Was my soul valuable enough
To satiate you insatiable hunger?
To satisfy your unceasing greed?

The auction of my soul
Must have brought you enough riches
To find your own

If you did
Come to me
I’ll show you my wounds
My bruises
My pain
Because I believe
Only soul can feel the pain of soul

Tuesday, 17 April 2018

You Are Still Inside Me…


Do you feel my dehydrated skin rubbing against yours?
Do you find my bruises rubbing against your stomach?
You are still inside me?
It is hurting...
It is hurting...

What do you imagine happened to me?
You want to know it all
So you can be angrier at someone

I am choking
Because you took all the air from me
Do you feel yourself inside me?
Do you hear my painful cries?
Do you feel my decaying body?
Can you smell the blood coming out of me?
How does it feel to be inside my cold body?

I was raped
I was tortured
I was murdered
By people
Who never
Raped
Tortured
Or murdered anyone
But never spoke
Fought
Stopped
Or educated anyone about it

All of you are obsessed with punishment now
You all call it justice
But punishment is not education
Punishment is not a school
Where one learns kindness, love, or respect
That all of you have lost

Aaaaaaah…stop it
Stop it…
You are still inside me…
It’s hurting…
It's hurting…

It’s so easy for you now
So convenient
To hunt for one, two, three
Or dozen men
And blame it all on them
Demonize them
So you can comfortably sleep at night
Thinking goodness prevailed
Justice prevailed

Does killing anyone
Who raped me
Tortured me
Murdered me
Rest my soul in peace or yours?

The truth is you’re cowards
Hiding behind the convenient walls of blame
And empty slogans of justice
Scared to accept the bitter truth
That you failed me
All of you failed me
All of you raped me
All of you drugged me
I was tortured by you all
I was murdered by you all

You want to find my rapists, my murderers?
Go look into the mirror
You’ll find my rapist
My torturer
My murderer there
Staring back at you

Tuesday, 7 November 2017

Why I Hate Spicy Food?

I pretend
To be allergic to spicy food
Because what if
You would want to kiss me
After dinner

You always say
Your lips are my strawberries
Your tongue my dessert 

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

To Naani (my beloved warrior of love)

Mothers would have claimed divinity
If there weren't grandmothers

If you would have told me
You knew Adam and Eve
I would have believed you
You were as ancient as faith to me

If you would have told me
You used to live on Mars
I would have loved Mars
Like I love moon
Even today

If you would have told me
You are going to live forever
I would have trusted you
And believed that
Time will never touch you

But you never told me so
And left like a migratory bird
Ready for the new mystical land

I'm left with broken memories
Of my childhood now
Whose kindest witness were only you

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

I Must Wait Quietly

You have to look at me from far
Only then I’ll look good to you
I’m ugly up close
My good parts are lonelier
Than my bad parts
Goodness is always lonely I guess
Don’t all kind people stand alone in their kindness?
The rituals are always crowded and common
To speak to you is like conjuring up a spell
Which doesn’t work most times
But when they do
You reply back like a smoke
Rising up from a bonfire from afar
I don’t know if there are answers to my questions
I know though there are questions
They are like clues to some murder mystery
Only turned upside down
All fallen leaves point to the presence of a tree
Life is like a river no one can walk over
Like water finds us all too heavy to hold
I drown in your arms every time
I must stop talking and wait quietly
You make love to me only in silence

Monday, 25 September 2017

Unconsummated Night

How did the rainbow appear
When it didn’t rain?

The flowers in the painting
Over the bed
Smelt nothing like flowers
The huge mirror on the wall
Reflected only our enrapturing laughs
Not eager moans
Yes, you took your jewelry off
But not your clothes
Yes, I closed the door
But not to our fears

Those rosy pillows
You wanted to turn into saari
Didn’t fall off the bed
The wood witnessed our madness quietly
Without creaking with carnal frenzy

All night
We twisted and turned
Over each other in passion
But we didn’t create fire
We didn’t invent the wheel again

All we did
Was to find a small balcony
To watch over each other forever