Déjà vu

When you said,

“I can’t love you anymore.”

It was de jevu!

A day of my childhood

The feeling

When I frightened myself

By the monster

I imagined myself in the clouds

Have you seen my loved ones?

At every corner

Of deserted streets...

At every boundary

Of deserted playgrounds...

At every porch

Of burnt toy shops...

At every entrance

Of sacred dargahs...

At every face

Of crying mothers

Of my beloved country

There is a child with mirror eyes

Asking everyone

Have you seen my loved ones?

Have you seen my loved ones?

Have you seen my loved ones?

Your smile is my only antidote

Your smile is my only antidote

For the poison I drink day by day

It doesn’t solve my problems

It doesn't finish the puzzle

It doesn’t make my pain go away

But it brings color to moments

And makes the window of my life

More blissful

Than the unreachable view outside

I am not alone in my exile

I am not alone in my exile

When I left

Along with me

All the songs of the Jehlum

The fragrance of the pamposh

The warmth of your Kangri

The shade of the Chinars

The sunsets at the Dal Lake

And above all

The peace of mother’s lap

And

The memories of my childhood

All of them

Came along

This bitter distance

Has snatched away

Your letters

Your smiles

Your care

Your words

Your warmth

But your love

Followed me

In my exile

So my love, don’t worry

I am not alone in my exile

I dare you...

Shoot my songs

Thousand times more

Kill my thoughts

Over and over again

Hang me dead from every Chinar

Take away my language

Take away my past

Snatch from me my history

Cut out my tongue from my mouth

Choke my voice box

Burn all my books

Kill all who share my words

Take away my childhood

Poison my culture with shame

Bomb my cities

Bomb my towns

Crush down my home too

Do whatever you can!!!

I stand with my naked soul

I shout with my mad love

I create my own world

I shape my own freedom

Alarm Clock

(To my teacher and friend - Arooj Yaswi)

My clock had a panic attack

It woke up

With an alarm

Hands breathlessly ticking

Trembling

Counting

Holy numbers

Six

Twelve and nine

Time is a nightmare

It reads me

Ticking at all time

Like an orphaned child

Afraid of the dark night

I held my clock gently

In my blind palms

Snooze it off to sleep

Meanwhile time ticks me

Out of my bed

Rain Dance

Rain comes again

Painting

Little dancing girls

On my window panes

Dissolving

Like dreams into unknown sleep

I try catching them

Like I try catching dreams

With my bare eyes

To My Psychiatrist

Yes, I have lost my appetite

For laughter

I put on a grim face

That seems natural now

Smile is lost in the jungle

Of forgotten jokes

Sleep has taken refuge

In my mad wakefulness

Pleasure is now just a rusty signboard

Hanging in front of an old building

Falling apart to ruins

You call it depression?

Write that on my death certificate

I am still breathing