Che' Naar

When I grew up

And I grew bigger than my mother’s lap

And too big for my father’s shoulders

In my lonely pursuits

I was adopted by an old Chinar tree

It took me in

Like its own child

I was raised by its long branches

Longer than my wishes

Fed by its countless leaves

More than the stars I could count

At night, under its elderly shade

Sometimes when I was sad

I would be there

And it will be a beautiful woman

All dressed up in autumn gold

Dancing like a stubborn child

Stripping all her clothes

One after another

Day after day

At times when I was cold

It will be dressed like an Eskimo

In his long furry snowy coat

And I will warm it with my naked palms

My secret dreams were no more

A secret

When its big leafy hand

Assured me with love and faith

I still remember the day

How it shivered with pain

When I meant to leave

In my search of dreams

I wove on its kind branches

And then when I grew older

Away from its vigil motherly gaze

Some dreams lost their meaning

Some matter more

Every now and then

I kept missing its wise company

But today I am shivering with deeper pain

Grave news reached me from home

My friend Chinar is no more

 It strangled itself with loneliness

And left me in a note

On a piece of its bark

“I am here, forever”

I keep reading it again and again

With tears falling like winter dewdrops

As if to reaffirm my belief in its last note

Beyond the reality of the sad truth

Its unmarked grave is marked

With few fading circles now

Like the orbiting planets

Of our universe

Marking each year we lived together

A ring of my faith

Is cast every morning now

When I circle it over and over again

To find my last raiment

Of hope

I wait in circles

For it to take me in again

Once more

Once more

Forever