Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Unclaimed Body of Love


Who will claim me without you, my love?
Who will search for me when I am gone?

Come and claim me soon
Didn't you hear the news of my death?
I am dead now
I was killed last night
When the lost ray of your love
Shot a dying star into my chest
Come and claim me like a star, my love.

My dead body is lying cold
In the mortuary of papers
Of my unsent letters to you
Claim it from there

You won’t find me by name
I lost my name
Like the blind man on a dark street
Unidentified and mysterious
I wear my name like a make up
And my skin as torn clothes
Claim me like I deserve to be claimed.

Take my body with you
And bury it in the backyard
Of your doll house
Don’t mark it with anything
Not even with your tears
Keep it unmarked
Claim me as your unmarked memory

“I have preserved my soul for you.”
Write this as my epitaph
But only on the marble of your memory
And celebrate my memorial
In the silent corners of your lonely nights
Claim me like a firefly

Don’t be sad because I am gone
Love me like an aborted child
Whose value lies not
In its insignificant death
But in the sacredness of the womb
Of your love around it
Where I was first conceived.
Claim me like your lost child, my love
Claim me like your lost child.

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Demented History


You came
You saw
You conquered me

And then you left me
Like old ruins
I am what I am left
Of the glorious past in your love
An artifact of your ancient time

The holy verses of our love
Are written all over the walls
Of my decrepit being
Falling apart
Like an old heritage building
Below your proud, majestic abode

People visit me now
Study me
Research me
Photograph me
Preserve me
With uneven patches of modern cement
Write about me
In glorified inscriptions
And send me like a postcard
None of which ever reaches you

I am the significant part
Of your demented history

Thursday, 15 March 2012

In your arms


There are days when
I want to take my friends
To the sky with me
And sing around
The bonfire of evening sun

There are days when
I just want to sit quietly
In the streets of any constellation
Under the table lamp of moon

But there are days more often
When I want to live on the earth
To sit silently beside you
Thinking not of Sun or Moon
Or of any homely constellation
But only to listen to you
Till I fall sleep
In your arms

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Distance is a nightmare


Distance is a nightmare
It follows me
It stalks me
It haunts me everywhere
I go.

I see a road in my dream
The sign reads your name
But it never leads to you.

Desires, wishes, longing
My fellow travelers
Got tired and abandoned me
Long back
On my journey to you.

I reached the end of the road
But where are you?
The mirror of my dream is broken
I collect the pieces
Of my dream
Each one reflecting
A different person in it
I am split into all of them
I keep fixing all pieces together
Before your arrival
But all in vain.

I am falling apart
On my journey to you.

If you ever walk that road
Quench my fellow travelers
My desires, wishes, longing
And bring them along with you
The puzzle of my life is unfinished
Do collect those pieces
Of my dream
I lost on my way to you.

I am reduced to my name
Come to me
With your holy verses of love
And exorcise me of this nightmare

Distance is a relentless nightmare
It follows me everywhere
I go.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Existential Anxiety


This anxiety is ripping me apart
It’s like a snake curling around itself
Squeezing itself
Poisoning itself
Crushing me into nothingness

I can’t hold it any longer

I run away from it
I shy away from it
I hide away from it
But it comes back
Crawling like a baby to its mother
All hungry and helpless

I face the world
And world barks at me
Like a rabid dog
About to infect me
With its unending boredom
And melodious meaninglessness

I write about it
And feel it’s gone
Then walking down
The lonely road of my existence
I find it waiting for me
Like a beggar
Asking for everything that I have
I give away everything
I walk away naked
Without a speck of soul left in me
And its calls me back

Saying, 
“I am what you are.”
“Don’t run away.”
Don’t shy away.”
Don’t hide away.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
“Come back to me.”
“You are left with nothing but me.”
“Hold on to me till you find what you are not.”

I look at it
All helpless and devoid of reason
I sit besides it
On a rainy pavement
Asking for pennies of memories
I can treasure and cash
For my next life
Which I am not certain of either.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

I walked into the sadness of the night


I walked into the sadness of the night
Overhearing my poems talking to each other
Gathered around the fire of my being

“Why is he sad tonight?”
“He is looking for a new one.”
“No, he is looking for a young one.
A child’s innocence
A virgin smile.”

I walked
Till the voices became a distant echo
I reached the seashore
Measuring the coastline of my dreams
With each step
Then when I added
One more sigh to the strings of sighs
I heard an old familiar voice
Coming from the darkness
Of my nostalgic past

“I am the oldest of your poems.
I have seen you grow in sadness and joy.
Shall I do something for you tonight?
Shall I make a Rabab out of rainbow
With strings made of each color?
Shall I sing the songs of Lala
Or a sufi dirge of Hamadan?
Tell me, I can weave you a dream
Of your beloved land,
Free,
Peopled by love and chinar.
Or shall I open a window to Dal
Or let Jehlum flow from my eyes.”
I smiled.
Few stubborn tears marked two alifs
On my numb cheeks.
I sat down against the pillow of sand
Facing vast constellations of my unknown fate.

“Sing me from Wahab Khar tonight.”

The voice rose like a spear towards heaven
I hummed
Till the eyes of the child inside me
Met morning dew.
The first ray of sunlight
Washed my face with a virgin smile.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Geometry of my love


I am tired of your geometry
I hardly have any left

You took away all the smooth lines
Of your arms and legs
All the circles of your eyes and lips
All the squares of your hugs
All the angles of your vision
All the regular figures
Of our nightly talks
You didn’t even leave me
The circumference
Of my arms around you

All I am left with
Is an axiom stating

“All the points of the circle
Of my life
Are equidistant from you.”

And the broken pieces
Of a circles
Of your bangles
On my unslept pillow