What caused this spiralling?
This awakening of intense darkness
within me
Like a dragon coming out of his
sleep
What caused it?
The day started unusually normal
Uneventful bow tie was already
Tied around its huge neck in the
morning
When I woke up
The night was still hanging
From the discoloured curtains over
the window
Fighting the sunlight bravely
As if it had started liking me
Like my old cat
Who died long ago
Before I could know her
The day wasn’t sure of its commitments
So I decided to help it out
I made myself a nice cup of tea
Drank it leisurely over an hour
While reading
“How
to be happy when you are happy?”
I reminded myself of the exact
words
Of the promise that she asked of
me
“Promise
me, you’ll take care of yourself...”
What possible answer can there be
For such a promise?
Posed almost like a question
Or more like a doubt
By the person who like a caravan
Is about to leave soon...
I couldn’t think of any good
answer
So after an annoyingly long pause
I replied
“I’ll
take care of myself
What
do you think I’m a child
Who
needs...”
Before I could finish
I started crying like a baby...
Almost proving her doubt right
away
But a promise given to the beloved
Is more than a promise
It gradually becomes the purpose
of one’s life
Like an obnoxious habit impossible
to break
So purposefully
Almost like a habit
I took care of myself
Throughout the day
But no one warned me
Against the cruelties of insufferable
evening
Everything around me...
Every molecule in my body...
Every atom of my consciousness...
Which was at its right place till
then
Suddenly with the coming of the
evening
Fell apart like a false story
Like an illusion
I broke into million pieces
Each part feeling the pain
Of your separation million times
This is not even midnight yet
Your absence has already turned itself
Into million tiny needles
Stitching me like an old stubborn tailor
Who is half-blind but can’t stop
working
I feel your absence more like a
presence now
I fear I might turn it into a real
person
As monstrous as an abandoned childhood
Unless you come back and save us
both...
