What Caused This Spiralling?

What caused this spiralling?

This awakening of intense darkness within me

Like a dragon coming out of his sleep

What caused it?

The day started unusually normal

Uneventful bow tie was already

Tied around its huge neck in the morning

When I woke up

The night was still hanging

From the discoloured curtains over the window

Fighting the sunlight bravely

As if it had started liking me

Like my old cat

Who died long ago

Before I could know her

The day wasn’t sure of its commitments

So I decided to help it out

I made myself a nice cup of tea

Drank it leisurely over an hour

While reading

“How to be happy when you are happy?”

I reminded myself of the exact words

Of the promise that she asked of me

“Promise me, you’ll take care of yourself...”

What possible answer can there be

For such a promise?

Posed almost like a question

Or more like a doubt

By the person who like a caravan

Is about to leave soon...

I couldn’t think of any good answer

So after an annoyingly long pause

I replied

“I’ll take care of myself

What do you think I’m a child

Who needs...”

Before I could finish

I started crying like a baby...

Almost proving her doubt right away

But a promise given to the beloved

Is more than a promise

It gradually becomes the purpose of one’s life

Like an obnoxious habit impossible to break

So purposefully

Almost like a habit

I took care of myself

Throughout the day

But no one warned me

Against the cruelties of insufferable evening

Everything around me...

Every molecule in my body...

Every atom of my consciousness...

Which was at its right place till then

Suddenly with the coming of the evening

Fell apart like a false story

Like an illusion

I broke into million pieces

Each part feeling the pain

Of your separation million times

This is not even midnight yet

Your absence has already turned itself

Into million tiny needles

Stitching me like an old stubborn tailor

Who is half-blind but can’t stop working

I feel your absence more like a presence now

I fear I might turn it into a real person

As monstrous as an abandoned childhood

Unless you come back and save us both...